Sunday, December 27, 2009

Of reflections and predictions

The last week of December invariably brings with it the indefatigable urge to reflect on the glorious past and predict the uncertain future. To add to the bursting excitement, this year is the turn of the decade too. 10 years of glory or the lack of it finds acres of space in televison, newspapers and every inch of space that can find an interested audience. It is that time of the year when no one is in the 'present'. It is either pondering over the past or predicting the future.

The past is a shrewd teacher, for nothing is better understood than something learnt the hard way. What better teacher than experience itself! The month of December is more blessed in this regard than its lesser endowed cousins for this is the time generally devoted to reflection, ponderings and deep contemplation. The act of contempaltion if taken up with the right rigour and more often could probably end up being more beneficial. Events of relevance crop up according to their chronological order by the month. News reports dusted, dumped and fading into the oblivion suddenly get leverage unforeseen till after sometime after they made 'sensational' headlines. As the decade draws to an end there are questions of the events, personalities, places that had a significant impact. Is Phelps a better swimmer or Bolt a better Olympian? Should Zidane have head-butted Matterazzi or let his inflamed sentiments dour for his nation? And everyone has an opinion of renewed vigour on every inanity.
The greatest achievemnet for the year undoubtedly must be the Copenhagen summit. The initiative to bring the entierity of mankind in unison against a common evil ought to deserve an appauld. The proceedings of the meet though left a lot to be desired but there still recides a hope to see us being polarised in the right manner purposefully different from petty partisan leanings.

They say thinking about the future cannot change your past, it can only ruin your present. But when we are blessed to share an era with the greatest numerologistis, its nothing short of a crime to let the opportunity go by to have a 'glance in advance'. Most are busy deciphering what 2010 adds up to and what it has in store for the bebefit of each one of us, of course for a paltry price. The stars are about to change and are to take an entirely new course, only a fool would ignore the celestial call and to his own peril. If you are thinking its just the last column changing when you write a date, you are just blissfully ignorant of the signaficance of an auspicious ocurring. The Chinese with their calendar would vouch for it.
New year resolutions is one the greatest display of grit and determination that December witnesses. Unfotunately the novelty for most does not stand the test of time and 2nd jan sees a meek surrender of the resolute many. It is really painful when you have to wait for 364 more days to decide on what to take up next, resolutely. Just how long the new year be able to sustain its newness is remained to be seen.

But the best thing about the 'new' year is undoubtedly the reason it gives to party and rejoice! Faced with the plethora of problems that surround us in the growing complexity of life, the occasions are fast fading and the new year's eve gives it a fresh lease of life. Nothing gives more pleasure than to drink and dance away in the night and usher a change with a belief of having put up a year long's industrious efforts. It is earned afterall. This year due to an astonomical phenomena the eve is a 'blue' moon night. The sky has decided its time to conjure a blue moon on new year's eve. Partying and making merry once in a blue moon certainly does not harm anyone.

The 'new' year does have an aura with it that makes us all do the same. It is time to bid the now stale 2009 adieu and welcome the now new 2010 in the best way we possibly can. Drink, dance and making merry. Thats the best way to usher in something new than be involved in anything bland to the refined tastes.

Happy new year :)

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Food for thought

Pizza, burger everywhere not a morsel to eat. The growing 'boom' of the service indusrty is not without an influence on matters of choice of food of their paymasters!

The pleasure of a pizza and the lure of a burger accompanied by the atrocious prices of a normal balanced diet has resulted in desolate desperation of those who depend on the market for their basic necessity for subsistence, food.

The lull of an Indian thali seems deceptive for a simple wholesome diet which countryfolk make do throughtout their lives costs so dear now that one can think of relishing it only once in a lifetime. Fancy a Maharashtrian thali for 250/- or a buffet for 500!! More the price more upmarket and authentic is it made to sound and most end up cherishing it for a fleeting sense of nostalgia. "This is what my father ate when he was 13 and my grandmother made it with such skill!!" This is probably what you end up paying for what your father had for not more than 10 rupees and this rough estimate would be true after considering the inflation. Straight from grandma's kitchen causes the heart to melt. "Let me go back in time and see how it was then" is another of the cliched reasons for ending up at "Unlimited @ 500."

Good eating joints are few and far between. Most are hidden are from the privy eyes of their 'franchised' counterparts. Their cry in wilderness isl ost somewhere in the buzz of hovering flies all over. Fast food is here to stay. So long as there are deadlines are to be met it does not matter what you eat to keep the lifeline running. A quick bite of a subway subs is nothing less than elixir to a dying man seemingly in a hurry to meet his deadline.

Its not surprising to watch food which do nothing more than satiate your hunger sell more than the proverbial hotcakes. And it is notsurprising either to witness the declining health standards, specially amoung the urban crowd. Forking 100 rupees for a vada-pav kind ofsandwich with fancy vegetables put in garnished to suit an individuals taste which aniway seem all the same might seem outragoius to the thought but the urban herd has its own psyche and the subways of the world contnue to prosper. The peak hours makes the host wish he had more hands to make the 'subs'.

Places offering a Gujarati thali or a Maharashtrian thali or a South Indian meal which provided a complete package of entertainment and a value for money cuisine are breathing their last. Gone are the days when sethiji yelled young Raju "7 number saaf kar aur teen number pe 1 rice-plate laga." And the ganji clad cook dutifully obliged for he heard it directly from the saab. Its not too different now, Rocky has replaced Raju and instead of "kya chaiye" its "how may I help you sir". A svelte, smooth and sophisticated glorifed 'waiter' with a hundred thank yous is enough for making one pay 100 times more.

Money bring trouble with it they say. Even our 'aunty ka mess' is on life support now. Aunty herself has given in to the pressure of the 'outside' world. She has started dishing shit and charges exorbitantly for it. "Its no longer a mess beta, it's a haatel now. "You know na its the only authentic food in the city.

The Food and beverage industry is just the place if one has loads of money and no ideas on how to double it in not more than 30 days. A healthy investment in an upmarket place, a make-do cook and a scum who does not shy from a hundred thank yous and a million thank you and most importantly"why dont you try our....., today's special is......" is all it takes to divert one from the food itself. A recipe to get rich.

The rice plate is bleeding itself to death. The imposters are flooding the market. Raju is out on the streets, nobody would hire him without a degree. Its time to realise the virtues of a balanaced diet and revive the ancient meal. This would surely make even one's grandmother proud.

P.S Thank you Insen for suggesting a topic to write on :)

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

The Balkan state of India

Does more of state ensure development or more states lead to progress? A vehment demand for a seperate state of Telangana has cropped up in India and not for the first time since it was formally formed.

Our ambitious plans to become an economic superpower when the whole world is set to become one and show our might by shedding the ignominious tag of 'developing' country cannot see the light of day unless we set our house in order first.

The word 'seperate' has caught the fancy of all Indians alike. Maybe its time we realise we all are the same in being uniquely different. If every cultural identity, language and ethnic distinction warrants a state, there would be more states in India than the millions in Koda's bank account(this does not necessarily mean the rest of the politicians are God sent). This is all the more true in a country like ours where all these factors change in no more than 100 mts. But sadly, 'India' and its unity and a pride in being born here never finds mention in any of the vociforous demonstrations.

With the demand for a seperate state of Telangana causing tectonic shifts, the head that wears the crown of thorns has a real problem in his hand now and ignoring such a call is sure to spell the political doom of the powers to be. How is that for chossing the lesser of two evils?
And it is but a perfectly natural as human beings to cash in on every act of benevolence that is bestowed upon mankind. A circle of high intelligent men with immense capacity for thought are now demanding Andhra Pradesh itself be divided in 3s tates and Hyderabad be declared a union territory. Has Make hay when the sun shines ever been more true?

We proclaim 'unity in diversity' as an exclusive attribute of our country. We pride in being united inspite of the difference that seemingly divide us. Probably no country has ever seen more programmes on national integration. In this mellee of redrawing the state borders and more demanded from 5th class students in memorising the states and their capitals, where is 'India'?. The sad demise of Potti Sreeramulu and consequently Andhra Pradesh being granted the status of a state in India has set a dangerous precedent. Maybe a wrong message was sent. One can always have their way if one has the right muscle and the and the will and patience to fast oneself unto death for a cause, however ludicrious it might sound.The government in matters of grave importance needs to lead public opinion than trail its least common denominator.

Regionalism poses a potential threat to national integration and its time to stem the rot before it threatens to hinder our foray into the world, lest it sees us as tribal and primitive in our demands and be able to compete with the highly modernised on an equal footing.

'Balkanisation' seems a passe now. The number of times people of India have shown an intent to divide and divide further,Indianisation seems more suited to fit the the expression.

Monday, December 7, 2009

17 years later

It has been 17 years since secularism, one of the founding principles of our land, was smeared with an indelible scar and the wait to bring to book the hatchers of the conspiracy which shook one of the fundamental pillars of India continues with agony giving way to despair and now a complete hopelessness.

The Justice Liberhan Commission's findings though delayed and long drawn have been a bold step forward and at best could only act as another precedent but a deterrent to anyone with such vile intents? This should take some time getting an answer to, lest there is another commision set up to look into the findings of the Commision set up to report on the demolition of the Babri masjid.

Taslima Nasreen aptly depicted the plight of hindus in countries where they were in minority. That Sangh's ideology did not care about their fellow devotees from lands afar is another farce of their beliefs. This has led to a series of 'fundamentalist' tussels resulting in great lose of lives and national property. And the Sangh still blatant in their denial of any wrong doing, in fact claiming their demand to be in sync with 'modern' India with their outworn ideas, does cut out a sorry tale.

On the 6th of Decmeber the state of UP awoke to Hindu fundamentalism, a phenomena hitherto,associated with extreme Islamists. A havoc created, which has been proved now to be 'meticuluosly planned'. The rath yatra that led to a destruction of such magnitude that shook the entire country was led by 'leaders' who were to be donned with the impending responsibility of running the countryand fortunately the country has been saved of the ignominy of its continuance.

17 years on and we are not anywhere close to justice than where we had started from. The 'indicted' leaders are leading a cozy and luxurious preparing for a life post-retirement from active politics and at best a perhaps little miffed at not being at the party's helm till now. Now that they have been away from the public eye, their antics in Ayodhya have perhaps faded in the long list of undoings that have happened in the more recent past. Lets hope law does have long memory and the acts that make a mockery of what our country's principles are appropriately punished.

Justice delayed is justice denied is probably the oldest juducial cliche. Let this not be delayed further else people would lose faith in law being the paragon 'leveler' and the guardian of our constitution.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Are we really safe?

The high end socialites of Mumbai's night life, the Page 3 regulars, have a new pastime when they decide to take some invaluable time off partying- taking a dig at the government machinery on prime time TV news channels and chatter away to glory. They should seriously consider struting their new jewellery and designer clothes at a place more appropriate for such amusement.

The self proclaimed champions of citizens across the city have taken upon themselves the sceptre of responsiblity to 'bring to book' the functionaries of the government being the aware and concerned citizen that they are. This has reached such threatening levels that it has become a potential danger to switch on the TV prime time.

26/11 is indeed a dark day in Indian history. It was a collective failure and a shame on the entire country. The gory episode of carnage which could have been avoided, resulted in damage that has caused irrepairable loss to those who happened to be in the line of fire that fateful night.

JFK once famously said "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country". The need of the hour is not blaming the entire government for the misfortune that our country had to endure but to ask what we can do as the real aware and concerned citizens of India and bellowing "I no longer feel safe in this country, change the government" is certainly not one of them.

It is time now for a new hope and responsiblity to dawn upon each one of us citizens than despair and accusal finding permanace. The functionaries of the state require an unflinching support of the real citizens not the ones who had decided not to have their next kitty party at the Taj for fear of another attack.It would be foolish enough to be led by the belief that the officials themselves are not as affected by the horrific turn of events a year ago. Being in the face of public fury they have to endure even more.

Our objective should be to grease the wheels that set our country into motion not to stall it on its way ahead. We have to be the participant citizenry not one who croones, cringes and complains at the slighest hint of inconvenience caused due to the supposed blatant 'ineptitude' of our government. The ones who complain of government inaction invariable are the first who start whining when governmental action seems meddlesome.

Let us acept that our government is no better than our own commitments to the ideals set by our founding fathers, the ones even we wish to live by. We, while amassing wealth bending every law in the rule book and in times of grave catastrophy keeping alive the 'spirit' of our country while cursing the polity for its lack of responsibility are not setting the correct example nor helping our cause.

Are we really safe??
But first we need ask whether we are doing anything substantial in this endeavour which is OUR prerogative before we start asking questions. A little more active, alert and aware citizens can go a long way to ensure that another Mumbai 26/11 does not occur and the fashion bees remain where they are best suited.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Kar ban

In the interest of preserving some sanity among cinema viewers and giving the triflest of respect to logic, movies of Kurbaan's kind should not be allowed to be made and if the makers still persist, should be banned at the first opportunity.

The movie is nothing different from what was on offer in 'New York' and the Saif-Kareena pair seems rotten to say the least. The movie starts off the same stale way that has happened in millions of movies if not more. The hero and heroine wait for a taxi at the same time. One gets it conning the other and behold , of all the miracles they meet at the same spot, a college where Madam Kareena is a professor and SAK is vying for a professor's job and the badgering continues. SAK tries wooing lady love in a cut short way while explaining there's no point in taking the longer route and not surprisingly she falls for him and they happily move to Amrica. Lovely wife suddenly realises that her dear hubby infact is a terrorist in the guise of a professor who 'used' her to reach the country he holds responsible for his grief and plans to blow up. A 'secret' that is hidden only from her, not the audience. This is when trouble begins..Not in their paradise but the movie hall...Enter Kirron Kher, Dia Mirza and Om Puri and a host of others who failed to find work elsewhere and the rest neither be told nor cared to be heard.

Vivek Oberoi as the pro-American, anti-fundamentalist TV reporter is wasted playing second fiddle to SAK. And it was refreshing to see Khulbhushan even though sadly it was just for a passing second. What has the world come?? Shakaal being treated like some filthy junior artist.

The clincher is a scene where VO scours through a lady's purse despite knowing that there's a bomb in it and gleefully hands it to the police with a glint in his eyes seeking a pat, a la Tushar Dalvi, "Sir he ghya bomb, mala jau dya sir please..."

The movie is best prescribed to one who thinks he's seen it all in life. Try sitting through Om Puri saying "aaj chai pine ka mann nai hai, coffee pilao" and bearing Kirron Kher in her atrocious hindi made to sound like an Afghan's which might drive Osama Bin Laden to suicide if he happens to hear her out "Bhai sahab aapko diabetes hoti, chai naai peeti,shakkar naai khati...". Fancy her calling her husband Bhaisahab.

In order to make it a little intersting they should have at least included an item numberby Rakhi Sawant or Sherlyn Chopra.

P.S For those who don't know who Tushar Dalvi is, he is Nostradamus reincarnate :)

Friday, November 13, 2009

So long Safin...

World tennis is poorer today with the mercurial Russian Marat Safin deciding to call it quits from professional tennis. That the number of his titles do not do justice to his exceptional talent would be an understatement. The youngest world no. 1 till date was labelled "tennis of the future" by none other than the then greatest himself- Pete Sampras.

"But why so soon??" is the agonising question that legions of his fans can't stop asking, which also is very true considering others atletes like Sachin Tendulkar who were born a around decade before him continue to hang around even after suffering from something as ridiculous as 'tennis' elbow, lets overlook Martina Navritilova for a moment. Maybe its that great sporstmen do follow the old cliche that you ought to retire when people ask you 'why' not 'when'.

When he won his second slam he said he was relieved because he didnt want to be labelled a one-slam-wonder. Its a pity that no one said he would win only a dozen slams. With a ferocious back-hand, a potent second serve and a physique built like a bull it would not have been a wonder had he won even 20. Twelve intermitent years in tennis plagued with injuries and each year a painful wait to witness mad Marat turn saint Safin, as Nirmal Shekhar put it, and stand true to the potential that he displayed in his rise to fame . But alas, he left the grand stage just the way he entered smashing racquests and arguing footfault calls.

The graceful 'Safinnetes' who formed the cynosure of all eyes whenever he played, his idiosyncracies of arguing with the refs , gestures like kissing net cord lady or pulling down his shorts to 'let off some steam' as he put it would be sorely missed. He showed his game was much more than tennis.

That he was shown the door by the reigning US open champion who himself is 20 year-old, a year in his life which made the world stand up and take notice of his precocious talent is but a setting an ardent fan would have hoped for.

Lets hope he proves true to his talent and not end as someone 'who could have been...'Lets all hope the 'other door' does open up in his life which wouldn't surprisingly be mounteering in some distant altitudes away from hustle of world tennis where he wouldn't be bombarded with the same question time and again "when will you start winning and justify the portend predictions??"or being reminded of his epic match in the US open where he decimated a red-hot Sampras or of the lob he managed to conjure against Fed which helped him save a match point and subsequently the match and the championship.

So long Safin and thanks for all the tennis.

Sunday, November 8, 2009



The Americans have come to realise (the hard way though) that the danger to their supremacy does not just lie lurking behind the bush yelling "khabeez ka bachcha" but also the one draped in the olive green uniform dutifully crying "aye aye sir!!!"..

The story of Major Hasan who went on a shooting spree killing 13 at the Texas military base, Fort Hood is intriguing to say the least. What is yet to be ascertained is the turn of events the night before with Maj. Hasan. Speculations are rife that he happened to catch a glimpse of Neil Nitin Mukesh and his 'bare' act in 'Jail'. So far so good. But when he heard that Neil had no qualms in 'baring' it all on-screen while on the contrary is looking forward to more of such 'meaty' roles, Major Nidal Hasan was beyond elementary counselling and went into such a severe traumatic stress that it undid all the good he'd done in this world.

There are certain positives though that could be drawn out of the dreadful incident in Texas, one of them being, American now has an immaculate indigenous training grounds for those boarding a military plane to Iraq. What better way to test a soldier's competence than to hand him a gun and test his skills at it..
That it took a wounded woman to shoot him down and end the carnage bears testimony to the fact that women make as good if not better troopers. The incident sheds light on the conditions prevalent in the war-torn country that oozes the the blood of women, children and aged alike.

To think of the troops themselves being in extreme conditions away from home with only gun-wielding folks around is sure to send a shiver in anybody's spine and drive anyone out of his mind and retort to such means as Maj. Nidal Hasan did as a means of protest.
It is remarkable that the 'hatela' man was a psychiatrist trained to help returning officers help cope with post traumatic stress. Just how could the US army have enlisted the services of a 'mad' man as a psychiatrist beats common reason. Or is it that he's seen so much poured out to him that he himself started getting nightmares. May be he did dread the prospect of going through all that he had heard of, first-hand. Conditions there could even compel a person to stick out a knife to a countryman without considering that he is actually there to help him out...

The Islamists across the world now are wary of are furious back lash while the conservatives are dreadful of another country being annihilated 'to reinstate democracy'.Might is always right..!

The valuable lesson learnt if its not yet understood is, anyone can go 'crazy' when one is asked to defend land which he does not consider 'motherland'. Forget about going there, even the thought of being there to help fellow soldiers could drive even a psychiatrist so insane that he failed to distinguish between one of their own and their much tauted adversaries.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Not without my Baba..

The state of Mahashtra has found the surest way around the political skirmish that has come to dictate the order of the day at the Mantralaya. With the formation of the ministry not being as smooth nor as sweet as victory itself, our beloved CM has placed himself in Satya Sai baba's feet to seek to have a peaceful and trouble-free tenure as the big boss of Maharashtra..

Our able CM knows that with tugs at each leg of the 'chair' Baba's blessing is just what he needs to keep the other firebrand perpetrators at bay from the coveted prize.

The Madam in Delhi's blessing was enough assert his candidature to the top spot in the state but to ensure that it endures the test of time and the ire and displeasure of the allies in arms of the 'strongly' bonded coalition, our wise CM knows 'ab inhe diva ki nai dua ki zarurat padegi' and who beter to offer it than the celestial middleman himself who pulls of tricks that petty streets magicians find it hard to make ends meet with.

India TV for once did a commendable act to show the world a bit bit coverage in its trademark style of ultra slow motion and enlarged pictures of his hands and the dramatic anchor shouting himself hoarse with "Ye dekhiye unko dahina haat, ab ye dekhiye unka baya haat" for 3 pleasingly long hours on how babaji managed to conjure a shiv ling out of nowhere to the amazement of millions who stood in awe of this angelic powers..

His political rivals though cautious, hit the nail bang on the head.."Ye unka vyaktigat mamla hai,unhe aisa nai karna chaiye tha" went Sanjay Raut when our champion CM hosted the divine Baba to 'purify' his official residence,Varsha..

Baba's holy discourse in Mumbai wasn't without its share of celebrated 'bhakt' list. A chief Justice of the Bombay High court among a few other judges, the very famous Sonu Nigam who could not believe his luck when Baba himself handed out a much coveted ring to him.

The man with a mane that could give any hairdresser his worst nightmare, Satya Sai baba managed to spin a web which is not just restricted to 'the spiritual' land but the highly 'rationalised' west has fallen prey to it as well, though not a remarkable presence but worth notice. With TV cameras following evry inch of your movement, it becomes increasingly difficult to carry on with petty con to 'lead' people to believe in your 'celestial' powers but when a person who represents 10 crore of the people of our land and which boasts of the economic capital of the country of which secularism is an integral aspect, permits himself to such mockery in the public eye what can one expect but ridicule in the face of the world.They say count your blessings not your troubles, and thankfully our Prime Minister does not retort to 'baba'dom to allay his worse fears of an even bigger coalition.

Monday, October 26, 2009

The People's Mandate

Kya hoega is counrty ka???
Not seldom has the above been heard when confronted with the supposed inefficiency and inactivity of the government in how we would like to be governed.

George Bernard Shaw famously quoted "Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve". The strength of this mighty arsenal with the people was only at 50% of its potency in the recent polls in Maharashtra. This though seems a conservative figure considering only 50% of the 'enlisted' voters came out to exercise their right. The list of those above 18 and not even enlisted would drop these figures to abysmal depths.

Democracy is the rule of the majority but when the majority is happy taking a 'casual leave'to accomodate an extended long weekend to spend with their 'near and dear' instead of utlising it for the purpose they have been granted a day off for cuts a sorry tale for a country which boasts of the largest democracy. Infact the majority would rather sit at home and enjoy a crack at the government's expense.

To come to think of it, those in power have the approval of not more than 30% of 50% of us and the rest have to submit themselves to the whims and caprices of this incumbent.
The one who bestows power is equally to blame as the one who weilds it for misuse. 'Power corrupts' is probably the oldest of cliches and so there is an added responsiblity on us to decide who weilds it for us.

Now is not the time to decide what kind of government is best for us, this aspect must have been given a considerable amount of thought before it was concluded to be the best for a diverse country as ours, nor is it the time to crib,cringe and croon about 'pathetic' state of affairs in the country. Its rather time we participate actively in the act of governance. Its time we forgo our passivity with an involvment. Democracy itself implies participation of the citizenry in the running of the country. Its far more easier to lament the 'corrupt' politician for taking our beloved country to the dogs.

Farces like candle light vigils as forms of protest when something goes awry become the order of the day to display our solidarity against the incompetent 'politicos'. 'The spirit' they say, can never be dampened by a few corrupt men. This time can rather be saved by choosing the right men to power.

Its never too late to change when the change is for a better beginning. We ourselves are to blame for the abject reality that faces us, for the poverty that engulfs us,for the potholes that have gained permanace, and everything else that is conviniently blamed on the government.
The will of the people rules our country. If that happens to be insipid and apathetic, we dont have to look any further to blame.

Its high time we realise what power democracy confers upon its citizens through the right to adult franchise else it remains to be seen Kya hoega is country ka???

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Mere paas Mao hai..

Farhan Akhtar now has a brilliant dialogue for Arjun Ramphal to say to Shah Rukh Khan that could become next big movie-quote when he decides to make Deewar-The wall begins. And the movie could also feature an item number by Li chan and Jackie Chan as 'Daawar' saab.

The dragon has woken up to realise that land not politically theirs is actually their own after 60 years of being governed by India.How does it matter if China recognises Arunachal Pradesh as a part of India? Doesnt matter even if half the Indian population does not know where it lies but nobody bothered to ask our defense minister whether he considered Beijing to be a part of China. With the Chinese claim to Indian territory fast gaining momentum, it wont be surprising if they do stake claim to even Mumbai with an argument that it actually was a part of an erstwhile China of chu dynasty. It remains to be seen what the MNS and Raj Thackectary would have to say when Mumbai gets 'enroached' upon by non-north and non-Indian people. The chinese could probably identify the chinese-stall worker next to Gateway of India to be a descendant of king FuQu of Xiang dynasty...So much for seeking pleasure in chicken lollipop. The defense ministry has its work cut out with a majority of Indians not willing to let go their favourite cuisine even after Mao himself having acknowledged that eating 'chinese' in India would leave Chinese nothing short of a mild heart attack and a severe anal haemorrhage.

Unlike in 1962 when we were caught napping and after having rudely woken up after the loss of thousands of sq kilometers of land that didn't erode our hospitality with us coming up with something as ridiculous as "hindi chini bhai bhai" we are in hiberation now and suddenly coming to terms of the magnitude of their claim in a globalised era..

Its bizzarze to claim a piece of land as your own just because the majority of population there bears a similarity of looks as that of your own. Considering that to be a valid point to stake claim on territories, with the numbers that we 'export', India can virtually call the whole world its own.

One thing is for certain though, with the kind of hostile environment that we reside in, with all neighbours garnering strength to eat into our territory, there is little scope for respite in the region. In a time when the whole of Europe is joining hands to be one, south-east Asia is lost in its own petty embroil for land while keeping at bay the larger picture of regional prosperity which is hard to come by without tranquility. China has to let better sense prevail else it would surely end up to be a 'BRIC' fight.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Rukavat ke liye khed hai....

Glory Glory!!!!

15 September is the day to celebrate 50 years in running of our beloved channel DoorDarshan. An epitome of national integration which stands tall among the lesser channels lost in their battle for higher TRPs,whatever they mean. 'Doordarshan' which literally translates to 'tele vision' has withstood the test of time to emerge as a channel that provides a source wholesome family entertainment, something that doesn't require members of the family watch seperately to savour.

50 glorious years of 80-year-olds reading news that actually had us tune our attention to the news rather than the newsreader. An era that gave us the immemorable Shabana Azmi saying "chhoone se bas pyaar failta hai" and the inimitable Amitabh Bacchan with his "do boond zindagi ke". "School chale hum" actually had us give our attention to the apathy of illiteracy that haunts our country.

Doordarshan is not without its share of contribution to the world of cinema. Shah Rukh Khan first traded his wares on the Doordarshan to win the hearts of 'DD' viewers before taking the big leap to conquer the world of cinema. Mandira Bedi first appeared on Shanti before she shot to fame talking non-sense about cricket .

The whole aura of Doordarshan has a spirit of nostalgia that has each and every one of us associate our childhood with it. Bonkesh Bakshi, Detective Sam De Silva, Captain Vyom, Shaktimaan are etched in our minds as our own super heroes. Even the idea of Surbhi, Chitrahaar, Rangoli, Malgudi Days does make us sigh with reminiscence "those were the days!!"
"Mile sur mera tumhara" is reflective of the diversity of our motherland. Were it not for DD I'd never have wanted to know what "Tumara moro Swara ra milana shrishti karee chalua jatana" meant nor bothered to know the language. We are yet to see a channel telecast the National Days' parades displaying the plethora of cultural diversity in India.

Ramayan and Mahabharata were featured to imbibe in the young the values and ethics that are part of our heritage.Such was the depiction that it elevated the actors to celestial glory with the viewers beliving them to be their actual Gods.

The weekends were the most awaited even for the movies which were on air. Barring movies like 'Shootout at Lokhandwala' which was surprisingly aired on DD but expectedly over in 20 minutes with more than half the movie censored to preserve viewer sentiments. The best part remained regional movies being aired on sunday afternoons.
Flop Show, Chandrakanta, Sam and Gopi, Alif Laila, Ji Mantriji, Wagle ki Duniya, Circus, Office Office are a few masterpieces DD has given to the world of television that languishes today lost in its fight for grabing viwership with an overdose of saas-bahu sagas, reality tv shows or talent contests. The contribution of Doordarshan to Indian society is immense and its content unparalled in television even today. It is but a futile attempt to even compare it with what we have to see today.

Monday, September 14, 2009

No Exam No Cry

The Central Board's decision to scrap the std. Xth exams is indeed a 'lauda'ble decision. The jargon of normative and formative evaluation of the students' capacity of knowledge acts as a good guise of doing away with the most effecient way to assess a student's progress.

But why is that only std X students have been bestowed with this heavenly grace? Even graduate students(engineers especially) are beside themselves with grief at the prospect getting even an ATKT forget YD. It would be gross injustice to them if only CBSE exams are tossed aside.
Imagine how stressful entrance exams are.Even they should be suitably changed to accept the 'expertly' analysed and very 'conclusive' normative and formative scores of the interested applicants.

Think of the those who layed down their everything for that extra mark in Fill in The blanks and Match the pairs and in the process got labelled themselves as 'cheats'. How would the board answer them?
also the bond that gets formed over a tiny little whisper in exams between students battling a common enemy blossoms more often than not into a 'freindship for life'..We are snatching this invaluable opportunity from the 'li'l' ones to socialise!!!!!

A powerful antidote to the exam fever must say. But a more serious disease that plagues the student communityas a whole and needs immediate attention is the deadly endemic 'out-of-syllabus syndrome'. The accepted norm at having failed is, everything that was asked was not something beyond by 'expert' knowledge but rather beyond the scope of what I was expected to know.This, unfortunately is not bought when you finally reach through the 'grind' and 'toil' of the exams and collecting innumerable marks on the way to an activity that can win you your daily bread.

This is setting a good precedent though. If something causes stress and strain try looking the other way. When u cant,just do away with it.Nothing is so important that it can't be done away with. And if they are exams,the "normative and formative" evaluation is always there. And ofcourse not everyone agrees to such radical a change and so....
make them optional..
Such a novel way to change..

Sunday, August 30, 2009

I am a very superstitious man...

But if a ridiculuous failing were to befall me or an unforeseen success were to come my way, I bear it to the grace of a 'deified' object I turn to in times of tragedy or triumph..

I find it more convenient to ascribe the fruits of my success or the lack of it to the object of my faith,the supernatural, something which neither I can see nor understand let alone proving its existence, than to my prowess or not having done enough to deserve what I wanted to achieve.

I practise penance,fast and abstainity for a certain period in a year to wash off my sins and be in the 'good grace'. Doesn't matter if the rest of the year I spend in practising all the tricks in my trade to con,cheat and dupe my fellowmen to get what I want...
This period is the only time I know the ones who matter are listening.

The 'rationalist' are the best when they come to 'justify' their fasting and abstainity during this time...
They say "the stomach needs some rest once in a while baba....Its good and healthy too..Lots of eating eating has made my system malfunction...." So true..But isnt the heart too been pumping in blood all day year in and year out...Doesnt it to deserve a rest once in a while for a month????
Not too long ago a cat crossing your path was considered an ill omen.It was a portend for an unpleasant happening.I know in today's time its no longer cool nor logical to be led by such beliefs in something as innocuous as the cat.But its just the 'cat' that has been replaced..My belief in the capacity of the power beyond that of my own still exists..

But I wait for the day when I dont see an 'object' beyond its utility nor consider anything apart from my body to be a 'sacred sactorium' which I can use as a means to achieve what my mind has set sights on nor believe in anything apart from my ability to think and act to attain what I desire...

Monday, August 24, 2009

The Metrosexual is in.....

The fairer sex has some stiff competition now from the gentlemanly clan.
Women now have more to complain with the tougher 'sex' too putting in their hat in the race to being beautiful and delicate...
The quest for the 'empty' pulchritude is no longer a sinful indulgence for 'the man' but a virtue for the ubermetro kind.
Men having facials,mascara, skin clearing, pedicure is not a youthful frivility of the rich few but a means to a 'beautful' end to every man.
The rugged macho look is a passe now ....
"sheee baba thats how watchmen and 'majdoor' kind look!!!!"
The suave, svelte and beautiful look has caught the fancy of men world over today.
The lasso slinging cowboy is out....
The Fair and Handsome clinging metrosexual man is now the new alfa male.
David Becham is the new demi God whom men wish to fashion themselves according.
A 'path breaking' advertisement of a fairness cream says it all about the changing times..
A guy walks along with the product nicely applied over his face and PYTs run after him calling out "Hi handsome Hello handsome!!!"
And if this wasnt proof enough,try watching the ad where a 30-something man's inner voice calls out to him when tries to cut out some grey hair saying "ek ek safed baal na chhato ab hair dye ka packet kaato".
A mehendi top or a jet black dye to hide your grey end is much cooler than letting the world know on your true age....
A fixation for the 'white' is no longer a teenaged boy wanting some 'adult' dana dan action from the west, but what a man a few years maturer than him wants his skin colour to be...

The conservatives can cry themselves hoarse but this is the stark truth. The final nail in the wranglers coffin has been placed...

Dirty Harry RIP.... :(
David Becham-- a hola!!!

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Tyson Gay :(

It's hard not pity the talismanic sprinter who turned out to be the 'best man' to his more celebrated competitor after his show at the world 's in Berlin .After sprinting his ass off in those 100m the way he'd never run before and probably never will either,his pace was outdone by the jolt called Usain BOLT..and just like the other gays in India, Tyson was treated like a secondary citizen...No matter how hard he tries now he isnt genetically coded to do the act(beating Bolt) a fate that is shared by his namesakes in India who found relief with 377 being repealed and the unnatural act being decriminilised
The more said about the jolt from Jamaica the less it seems....But one thing couldnt have missed anybodys notice was the way Bolt was preparing for the disaster that was to befall Gay
"I am gonna do, I am gonna do it" was all he said with a wide grin with a full view of his jaundicized dentures...Guess Gay did let him go ahead because neither he nor the other 6 could bear the odour of plaque that he carried along with him across the finish line....
9.4sec he says he can run 100m in.Thats astounding, considering that superathletes like Sehwag and Sachin take twice that time to complete half the distance.
But its a pleasure to watch Usain Bolt hacking off records after records of his own creation...
And he might well come to India for the commonwealth games...Our own national champion is training hard for the mother of all battles .
Imagine Usain Bolt VS Anil Kumar...
Cant get better than this...
But Kumar insists he wont run unless Bolt is asked to come back from the finish line to where they had started before our champion finishes his 100 or he's given a head of atleast 50 m....
We have to give him a chance....
cant expexct him to be the next Gay, after all, the games are in India..

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

One flu over the swine's nest

The animals in the 'swinerus' a distant planet in the even farther silky way galaxy are celebrating to no end with the news of pandemic break of a deadly disease on earth. The say the humans are finally paying the price for using their race as a swear word in their language.

The mass hysteria this disease has created engulfing almost the entire earth has finally made its presence felt in a tiny country, India

It's honourable heath minister has already allayed all fears about the precarious state of affairs by seeking the best time to fufil his deep desire to proclaim a profecy. He says 33% of Indians will get affectd by the next 2 years..Why worry about contracting the flu then?Let 1 in 3 become 3 in 3 and then we will head towards a solution.Until then he's content with shooting his mouth off at the kin of the deceased and then asking for a quick apology.

People all over are donning an accesory that makes them look more like species from swinerus than humans(the most degrading form of abusal there).The 'mask' has come to replace the dreaded 'trishul' of Ramsey brothers that had profane spirits run for their 'lives'.
"Mere paas ma(sk) hai,keede!!!!"....and the inhabitants of the far planet are making merry that they finally have made humans look like them.

But the swines are not entirely happy cause they know their happiness is but short-lived.Their early morning 'mega meal' celebrtations cannot go on forever..The 'Earth sewage department' is already complainig of a shortage of supply and the captain of the spaceship which was to supply them with their festive meal at a discounted rate is also scared of travelling now...
So the head council of 'Swinerus Health and Sanity Dept' has decided to take it easy now and before too long, earth is to be set free of 'Swine Flu'

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Thoda adjus karlo

The favourite of jargon that seperates us Indians from the rest of the world and forms an unbreakable bond within us are these GOLDEN words
These are by no means plain words that are meant to convey a thought or an idea but when used with the right discretion, strike an instant cord between the speaker and the person whom it is addressed to..
Try sayin "thoda adjus karlo" to a person of a gigantic bearing sitting on a feeble bus seat with three others of his size and he'll make you space big enough to accomodate a dinasaur with everyone else....
In a long queue for a movie ticket,while travelling in general class in a train,when an 18 year-old asks for a half ticket,listening to loud music that can damage ear drums of anyone unfortunate enough to listen to it,etc etc,"thoda adjus karlo" never goes waste....
Even the person most distressed by your indulgence would try and understandyour 'dilemna' and your helplessness at that...
Used with its extended kinship,"thoda adjus karlo" has an impact more fulfiling than intended.Though they all mean the same,there are a few technical differences that is apparent only to the expert ear which has been mastered to use each of them according to what the situation demands
Here are a few...
1.)Thoda adjus karlo pleeeeeeeeease :(
2.)Thoda adjus karlo na yaar aaj ke din....
3.)Thoda adjus karlo na... sorry ha!!!
4.)Thoda adjus karlo na bhaiyya..
This an endless list and even to attempt it is a mammoth task so,thoda adjus karlo aaj ke din baki me dekh leta na..... :)

Friday, July 31, 2009

lavatory and the cemetry....

To come to think of it both places arent too different...both demand the same from u.... :)
and when the time has come ,even GOD cant stop you
even a meal in a posh 5 star restaurant cant assure you against a vile morsel landing up the wrong place and wretching havoc inside your stomachto let it go free.....
nor can any gym help you build a body that can take in a kasab's bullet on your bare chest and let you live to tell the tale or mother earth having a bad day and deciding to have a tsunami or an earthquake for fun......
The point is to live a life to the full.Afterall its the only life we've been 'gifted' why waste time in the fight against obesity and sacrifice all the pleasures of lifefor a measly six-pack...??? unless of course if you are paid to do a 'dard-e-disco'
Have fun and live as long as you want until the time to finally bid adieu to this earthy world and have more fun with the GODs above hasnt yet come... :)

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Kiss, Jungle se.....

The birds and animals in the jungles of Malaysia have suddenly gone affray for the past 3 days.....
The presence of a homosapien sapien erectus called NEGAR KHAN is finally felt in their home land....
Tortured to extinction with the company of the likes of Palak and Aman Verma for a long long time the animals are finally breathing a sigh of relief and a fervour of excitement runs across with every animal dancing in erotic rhythn to "chalti jawani meri....."
The orangutan has already asked her nubile kids not to venture around alone if a film is being shot with Aman Verma as the lead, the jungle has already its fair share of mixed breeds they keep saying
Some of them are even tuned into their 'jungle tv' to catch the missed glimpses of bountyful of the pavitra 'bahus'of prime time telivision and what some of the lead singers have to offer and Negar has only 'laced' up the show bathing by the stream in her cute little bikini..
And also, they are enlightened to a completely new dialect of hindi..The beauty while conversing with a co-participant ,"may aapko trast karta!!!"...."May saab kaam karta,muji kaam do!!!"
some hindi....
For everyone who thought this is a gimmick taking place in some secluded studios in Mumbai this is straight out of a distraught chimp's mouth in Malayasia who is sore at yudisthir getting the nod above him to host the show..

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Life beyond google and wikipedia

We live in an era where Google has become synonymous to search and wiki to a storehouse of informatical knowledge
The two powerhouses have come to virtualli cast a web world wide that has everyone looking for information here only.
A virtual monopoly may and to an extent even has led information there, to be the final word on any subject..
But the spate of events taking place today might lead us to conclude that whatever the majority thinks to be right is right irrespective of its authencity.
The question of credibility of information does arise here...Instances of misinformation might be few and far between but considering the number of people 'hooked on' to them to satisfy their urge for knowledge and information,its too mammoth a number not to take notice of...
Afterall it does help to exercise some caution before accepting a final word on any matter and verifying it from others sources doesnt take too much either..
but...This is easier said than done...
Fast food joints have become famous today because of their immaculate ability to provide food of acceptale quality, neat to the palate and available in double quick time....
Is it a reflection the of the form in which we want what we want in any walk of life????
and anyone who does that is a clear winner...

P.S This topic, I was asked to write on was by an incorrigbly fractious young man named Tushar Dalvi :) and I am sure I havent done full justice to what he had intended.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Oti bhokti n chororo lakshano

India, a land of religion, where faith is believed to heal every ailment, be it the stressful demands of a hectic life or even dreaded diseases like aids(i know of atleast one BABAji who claims to cure it through YOGA) is a goldmine for aspiring spiritual gurus or babajis as they are fondly called.
Need a shoulder to cry on? or a middleman to GOD??A holy man in saffron overalls and spritual music is listening and is ready to offer help...Old bhajans are a passe rock hymns are the order of the day....This comes at a price though...How can you even expect somenone to help you reach GOD do it for free???Isnt roaming around in private choppers closer to heaven than the earth mere mortals are on???That does make them closer to the GODs than us..
SWAMIjis who trots around the town in a saffron dhoti by the day are known to create quite a stir by the unearthly hour..They ask their discilpes to forfeit eathly pleasures in the pursuit of seeking an eternal salvation....Isnt it an irony that some of their elite kind are often seen in high end luxury cars?
Isnt it high time people started realising that no good except an irreparable loss of faith in humankind is the only outcome of such frivolous 'devotion' to people who are no different than you and me only that they are capable of conning a few men with their garb and actions that are exactly opposite to what they preach...

The title's an old odiya sayin brought to my knowledge by a very learned scholar and 'casobaba' who goes by the name Abhijeet Mohapatra.

Monday, July 27, 2009

No Prolame!!

They say when you are neck deep in shit, the best you could do for yourself is to shut your mouth to save at least your taste buds of some grave embarresment.....but there's one mantra that could make all your worries go away as if they never existed at all and help you float your way across that messy quagmire..
Whenever life's demanding too much from you,whenever your troubles seem to get too big for you,try saying "No Prolame" to yourself and'll be surprised with the kind of soothing effect it has on you, the world,the trees, the plants and of course the people around...
To add more tooth to this magic spell, try sayin "No prohlame!!!"The alphabets cant do full justice to the magic of pronounciation but time and practise will only sharpen this potent arsenal to keep all evils at bay.
Try saying this with a release of the sound of soul through the heavenly opening that only gives you early morning pleasure of relief and PRESTO!!!! .....this cry in the wilderness is will be heard in the heavenly infinity and all your prayers will be answered THAT VERY MOMENT!!!!!!
A tried and tested formula and you'll be ignoring this sound advive out of ignorance to your peril....


Never an inopportune time to start a task afresh or a fresh task... :)
Blogging, a completely new canvas to paint ideas, a platform to write your mind and a nightmare to anyone who is not too used to writing...
Hope I finally write something worth a dekko....
Till then scope to write shit exits as long there's the will to say "Balls to acceptance" :-O
Bye for now.

The first day

This is my first blog :)